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Tuesday, November 13, 2007/ 12:40 AM Going back 11 months There is a lot of things bottled up in my heart right now, and this is the most ideal place to unleash them all out RIGHT AWAY. while reflecting upon BNCOC, it goes back 11 months, where i was just a trainee then, having this mentality of "wanting BNCOC to go away asap", which i believed all trainees now are having. i dun blame them, whereas i went through it before. Back at the post dated "Thursday, December 21, 2006", which can be easily found in my archives, i went over to tanglin sec unwillingly where a series of misfortune befalls. during theory phrase was nothing spectacular except for those lectures that act as my sleeping pills. later on it was MOI, footdrill, haha. i did badly =P. made the cadets henta very long. then came camp phrase, i left my ez-link card back at home, got trapped in the station, as the door of the machine just opened when i put my "ez-link cardless wallet" on top of it when i went in. I was already having a very bad mood upon going over there. I feel like some unknowns losing my way in the vast sea. Basically, i dun understand, or know anything of what is going on. yep. It is a huge difference in regards to training, activities, admins to our own school camps. They emphasized a lot on admin stuffs back then, maybe due to the fact that the trainers then are in ANCOC, that they are going through the course too, and are graded. Perhaps, it is my squadmates presence that encouraged me on, clement and jeremy both in bravo 1.2 with me. ya, the presence of them alone settles me, at least deep in my heart that i know there are people that i can depend on when things goes wrong. I took everyday like just normal camp, taking it as a training camp rather than a fun camp. Other groups seem to be having fun cheering, and laughing through the camp, but i was not into it, not even memorizing the cheers, complaining about everything, and it was a really a different me when i attend the camp. I dun talk like me, dun do things like me, because a lot of things are bottled up in my heart. Back dated at that 11 months ago post, i dun even feel like blogging about the camp. Ya, dat's why maybe every groups or companies return home happy after the camp, of course with bravo 1.2 being the exception. we dun talk, seldom cheer, congregate in small groups, esp considering dat i, clem, and jeremy are tgt. The slackers group. I admit that i wasnt having the right mindset upon going for the camp. I blame the HQ, blame the camps, blame tanglin, blame officers, blame pcs, whatever that i can find, i blame them. but i din blame myself. I insist that i am right. But 11 months down the road, it changed. While last sat i was at north vista secondary school, i see a lot of "previous me", giving me the sian look, like being forced or threatened to come to BNCOC. I was shocked, it does seems a lot of people are having the same mentality as me again. But i believed at the end of camp phrase, such people would be at the minimal, cause only at camp, that people are really bonded with each other, where friendship blossoms, and it was only 11 months down the road, that i realised i am wrong. If i changed my mindset earlier, i would be having a fun camp, instead of a training camp. It just takes 1 person, that can motivates the whole group, but sadly there isint in my group. And i believed now that many cadets are moaning, complaining, loathing at the course. It is time where they should change the mindsets, if not they will stand to regret in the future. And i truly believed that, HCI is the only school that fails to adjust to the customs of the HQ. thus, having having produced many people having such mentality like me. And to the 11 sec 2s of HCI out there attending this year camp, whether this camp is fun or not, it entirely depends on your mindset. whether you want to go through the camp having fun like yufan, or whether you want to go through the camp miserably like me, the ultimate decision lies in you. It is time to take action, bond with your groupmates, the campfire preparation coming up soon is the best opportunity, before camp arrives. I believe that if you talk more, engage more in activities, you all wun feel left out, or rather get accustomed quickly to the HQ ways, the level of fun fully depends on how fast is your adaption is, the faster you adapt, you will see the camp in a fun way faster. dun always congregate with your own schoolmates, it will only worsen things off, to start off, all your groupmates are strangers in the first place, if they can adapt, why cant you all? and to bravo 1, i will try my best regardless whether it is within my power or not. i really see a lot of "potential me" in my own group, but i seriously hoped that they wun be any when camp ends. It is not too late to realise my mistakes, which is better than not realising it at all. and i must make sure that nobody is following my path. which is full of regrets. |
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