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Friday, August 15, 2008/ 11:43 PM nightmare  my dream. i am referring to the dream i had while sleeping. it was always a nightmare, a situation whereby i was going to die before i suddenly woke up, finding myself sweating over my whole body. yes, it is a weird phenomenon, i had never had a sweet dream for a long time. i never really pondered over it. not till now. maybe its heaven's will. i accept for what i am, for what i have done till today. and i really believe that we cant defy heaven's will. for they paved and set my life long ago before i was born. its a matter of survival. whereby only one who can be sitting right here. why am i the one. when he is perceived to be smarter and have a brighter future than me. i would have imagine if he was the one sitting here right now. the pride of any parents and teachers. yes, this's heaven's will. but one that baffled me till this day. now the nightmare does makes sense to me now. it may be the same reoccurring events, but the point is that, it always appear when i was giving up on my life. to constantly remind me that for me to be living in this world, is not just for own sake, but also for his. having 2 ambitions. 2 futures. i may have to justify to the heaven on why i was given the chance to live on. yes, despite having my best results for term 1 and 2 over the 4 years, my results have been going downfall this term at a rather astonishing rate. and there i started question my own ability. on whether i deserved to be the one, having the chance to be able to go to school, receiving good education. ultimately, he would have done a better job than me. alright, let's talk bout today. yep. today is the judgment day. stuff to be handed in included: ying yong wen X 2 english SRQ IHC deterrence worksheet yep, i slept at 3am becos of all this. =.= and worse, out of a blue, i have to chair the talkshow session today. which just adds on the workload. nah, 1 of the main focus for today has to be pday finals! after numerous rehearsals, yesterday, today's recess, yep we finally are able to present within 7 mins. especially when we are doing a skit instead of formally presenting. nvrmind all the setbacks, ha.. the thing that when we made it through today, effectively means that we are successful. yep thanks lot to alan, wutong and waikian also. lol! they put in good words for us, when the judges ask if we have showed our friends our proj. not to forget weisheng, zihao and clement. yep. let's hope our journey continues if we made it through to grand finals selection.  the other main focus has to be MAX's last day in school. i din joined in the movie due to pday finals D: so waited for benji and kaeyuan instead to go tgt. gees. went to island creamery issit? the cookie & cream milkshake is a bloody scam. fancy paying so much money to drink a full creamed milk. vanilla + milk = (?) how stupid i was. we got lost when we reached that secluded place. it was like hiking. walk until damn tired. haha we din went inside his humongous house. ppls are like spamming 3Xbox and tennis. suan le, i dun even know what halo is about, and not the very least interested in tennis. poker cards are still the best :D bid farewell to max. hope he do his best in US. it was quite a saddening moment when we left. perhaps it is an early signal to us too. 2 months down the road, we will be separated from one another too. though not in the context of as far as US. what will happen when that day comes? |
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