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Monday, December 14, 2009/ 11:41 PM give me a break  i realised. im talking lesser and lesser nowadays. im exhuasted, worried, stressed. i fear that im not putting enough efforts in trngs. i fear that even my best is not enough for me. i fear that i have regrets. therefore, i put in a lot of extra efforts in. i work harder thn anyone else does. because of this, i have been getting aches all over, and even a minor calf injury. i kept telling myself to take it one day at a time. finish what im supposed to do for today, before even thinking bout anyth. of course i cant kept myself away from thinking bout next year nationals. a lot of 'what if' surfaced. esp not getting into the team. talking with my dad really gives me a breather. i hate living under pressure. going training everyday is like so dead. ccas are supposed to be full of lives issint it. its like everybody just come and go like that. doing what they are supposed to do. i cant seem to get any joy out of it, maybe thats how those professional athletes train. or maybe its just my own problem. i cant help to think bout my life now. whats with the everyday training thing that makes me shagged till like that. i can be like just one of the many people out there slacking at home, and go out everyday. i really cherish the times now when im out wif my friends aft trngs. suck. worst till, my parents are going overseas on wed WITHOUT me. all because of the DAMNED trainings. i want a memorable j2. doing well in both cca and studies. it has to be the most important year of all. i cannot afford to screw up. okay jianler stop ranting. please focus. i cant wait for sleepover/xmas,newyear gatherings/chalet! ohh, storm warrior really sucks man. the plot really sucks to the maxxxx lehh! haha but the graphics is nice nice nice. :D |
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